And So It Begins

Jason left today.  Not fun.  I dealt with it better than I thought I would, but I’m definitely still pretty bummed.

I’ve started about 3 different posts in the past week, but I kept left them half finished, and never posted them.  Oops.

Right now I’m supposed to be working on a stupid drawing assignment.  I’ve got 3 due by Wednesday.  So not impressed.  They’re all pretty time consuming too, which just makes the projects that much worse (it’s bad enough that I dislike any sort of artistic drawing – and with good reason, as I suck).

I stayed at Jason’s most of the past week, so it’s pretty weird being home again.  My mom got mad at me pretty much as soon as I got back.  Surprise, surprise.  That was one thing I really didn’t miss.  Actually, the only thing I really missed was my “stuff” – like my desk, and my computer set-up, and having all my clothes, etc.  I take that as a good sign.  Although it is getting a bit confusing – Jason’s place is just as much home as my parent’s place is.

I’m really looking forward to starting up yoga again.  I just need to go the first time

A Long Time Coming

First off, I would like to apologize for not posting daily this past week.  Whereas I thought going back to school would present me with extended periods of time in which to blog, I’m instead finding otherwise.  So I think for the future, I shall commit only to blogging on as regular a basis as possible, but not with any specific time-frame in mind.

My first week of class flew by.  And I loved every minute of it (with only a few, limited exceptions).  My teachers are really awesome, and I can already tell that they have a lot of useful information based on their experiences in the field that they’re more than willing to share with us.  I’m also enjoying meeting all the other students in my class.  I wasn’t sure how much I’d like seeing the same people day-in and day-out, but so far I think it’s making it a much more enjoyable experience.  Already I’ve talked one-on-one with about half the students in my class (there’s 32 of us in total).  Plus it’s made for some great discussions on topics we’re learning, and lots more class participation.

So it turns out that in one of my classes we actually get to build a house.  Like physically cut wood and pound in nails and put up walls and all of that.  I am so excited.  Actually, I think this will be a really great learning experience: 1) we as designers can learn the realities of building so we are more willing to work with builders’ requests, and 2) one of my biggest back-up career plans is to become a construction apprentice and work on-site building stuff.

Yesterday was my first shift at the vet clinic.  I wasn’t sure how it was going to go (it took a while to actually figure out when I would be working, and when my first shift would be).  But I think I’m going to really enjoy working there.  It’s a really busy clinic, so there’s almost always something to be done.  And since I get bored really easily, that’s perfect for me.  Plus I’m not just sitting behind a desk answering phones all day.  On the flip side though, my heart pretty much breaks every time I walk through the back and hear (or see) the sick/injured animals.  I’m not a very emotional person, but I do think I’m going to have to find the very thin balance between keeping my distance (for my own sanity) and being empathetic and caring (also for my own sanity, but mostly in order to comfort the patient’s family).

Yawn

My first day of class went really well.  I enjoyed myself…and learned a few new things.  So things are off to a good start in that sense.  However, I have already fallen back on my old procrastination habit.  I didn’t do my homework for tonight until 10pm.  And it only took 15 minutes.  It’s something for me to work on though.

Getting up early sucked.  But I was pretty awake by the time I made it to school, so I’m hoping that this trend will continue (or else improve) as the year progresses.

I’m getting the impression that I may not be able to fit blogging into my schedule as simply as thought.  Mainly because I actually have people to eat lunch with.  :-)  So for now it looks like it shall have to remain a part of my evening routine, as I plan on paying attention in class.

Tonight’s a short post; I apologize.  I really need to be getting to bed for around 10pm/10:30pm.  Not 11pm.  The more sleep the better, although I did have a nap after school today which was awesome.

This is the designer that made the dress I wore to the wedding.  I think they’re worth checking out – they use sustainable materials.

Stressed!

Too much to do.  Not enough time to do it in.  As usual.

Tomorrow’s Orientation.  Not really looking forward to it…but I’m still going.  Then the long weekend!  Woot!

Sorry for not blogging.  I feel somewhat guilty (especially because I’ve been wanting to).  It just really hasn’t fit in with my schedule.  Hopefully next week things will change.

#50

I interviewed for, and accepted a job offer for a receptionist position at a vet clinic.  Super excited.  It will supplement my library position nicely, and it’s extremely convenient in terms of location.  My mom’s a little p-o’d since I didn’t find out how much I’d be making in terms of pay.  But honestly, that isn’t really a factor for me.  The position itself, and location, the hours, etc. all work.  And I have faith that the pay will work out perfectly as well.  Besides, I’m still at the library, and those shifts alone pay for my essentials.

I’ve decided to lose some piercings, and change the earrings in some others.  Which means: a) I took out 4 of my 6 lobe piercings (only the bottom one still has earrings in); b) changed my tragus ring for a stud like the one I sometimes wear in my lip; and c) put the ring that was in my tragus into my upper cartilage since it’s smaller than the previous ring.  Ideally I want a smaller barbell in my rook on the other side, but that can wait.  And I’ve started wearing a lip ring rather than a stud most of the time.  I like it better.

I’m still working on re-arranging my morning and night-time routines so that they fit better.  It’ll most likely begin to click once school starts.  For now, my earlier bedtimes mean I may not be blogging as much as I’d like.  Or doing as much yoga.  Or even as much journal writing.  But things shall get better.

I should go get ready for work right now.  Only 2 shifts left at Pier 1!!

Uninspired

My trip to San Diego was pretty cool.  I can’t wait to go back.  Next time I want to have my own agenda though.  I’m not such a big fan of letting someone else make all the plans.  True, I didn’t know what there was to do, but I wasn’t super happy about having plans made that didn’t coincide with what little I was hoping to do.

Disneyland turned out to be better than I thought it would be.  Which is impressive, considering I was grumpy and exhausted most of the day.  I’d like to go back one day.  Just to enjoy it.  And to really look around.  It was cool being with people who could take us around to all the top rides (we did about 3 days worth of only 1).  Once again though, I’m not such a big fan of other people’s plans.

Maybe I’m just too much of a control freak?

On the bright side of things, I didn’t get sick of Jason.  For anyone that’s gone on a trip with me, I tend to need alone time around day 2 or 3.  But this time when I wanted time away from our other trip companions, I didn’t want time away from Jason.  I actually think the trip made me feel even closer to him.  I’m not sure how he feels about me though.

I haven’t felt very motivated about anything since I got back though.  If I think about it though, it’s understandable.  I worked 11 hours the day after I got back, the next day I worked 8 and went out for Jill’s birthday, Friday I worked another 8 hours then went to Jason’s, and today I worked another 8 hours.  And none of those shifts went by quickly.  But my room is a mess, and I made a fairly long To Do list today.  The problem is, I’m not really sure when I’m going to get stuff done.  I have some weird shifts this week.  Although, I will theoretically be getting up earlier this week, so perhaps I can get more done during the day (after all, I’ve always been quite productive in the late mornings).

Chapters has some really nice reed diffusers, eye pillows, frames, photo albums, cards, agendas, journals, etc.  I was quite impressed last night…and extremely tempted.  I only got an agenda though, which is something I will actually use.  And I based my decision on function, not solely on price.

A part of me is saying I should’ve gone back to work there.  But then nothing would’ve turned out the same.  And since I can’t change anything, I really shouldn’t worry about it.  For now the thought can simply hold a spot in my head.  After all, who knows what the future will bring?

I have come to the realization that for the most part, I am only working where I am because of the pay, and for one, the lack of effort required, and the other, mainly because of a couple staff members and my resume.  I’m really looking forward to the day when I can find a job that is mentally stimulating, a bit of a challenge, and one that I enjoy. 

I miss…yoga…getting dressed up with my hair and make-up done…doing my make-up…wearing heels all the time…being super photogenic…the days of blogging on Nexopia…Nexopia in general…sleeping well…my clean bedroom…seeing my friends lots…some of my friends that aren’t really friends anymore…having a plan…never crying…looking forward to going to work…being active…texting constantly…Roxie…Jessica…Jason…climbing…spending weekends together…feeling inspired…a lot. 

The camera on my cell is broken.  And the battery runs out way quicker than it used to.  I need to take it in to be fixed, but I don’t have time.

Lovestruck

 

That’s me.  :-)  I’m slowly admitting it to myself, and to Jason.  Big step for me.  But it feels great.  And that’s the most important thing.  No pressure whatsoever, just expressing what I feel.

Work is a work in progress essentially.  I love the library.  It’s a really great job, and the people are nice and the customers are nice.  But I haven’t been getting a lot of hours.  So I had to go and find another job.  I started last Friday at Pier 1 as a supervisor.  It’s been an experience so far.  The first day, I hated it.  My second shift I hated at first, but I started to enjoy myself a bit more towards the end.  And today’s shift was awesome.  Although today was spent opening boxes of stock in the backroom.  So I’m not really sure what that’s saying.  I guess I’ll have to wait and see how next week goes.

I also had the thought of going back to Claire’s as a third job.  My old manager mentioned that she’d have some hours for me if I wanted.  The only thing is, when I quit last time I swore I would never go back.  But money would be nice, and there isn’t exactly much of a learning curve, which is kind of reassuring.

I’ve noticed I’m not as confident anymore.  Not really sure why this happened, but I really doubt my ability to learn new things.  And it held me back from applying to a bunch of jobs when I was looking.

I miss blogging.  I keep saying I will do more, but I haven’t been doing very well.  Nothing exciting has been happening though.  Actually, that isn’t true.  It just seems to type itself (or come out of my mouth when I’m talking to people) a lot.  Not sure why that is either.

I’ve changed a lot this past year.  In so many different ways.  Last year at this time I was so stoked on going to U of C, and planning everything I was going to do for studying, and arranging supplies, etc.  And while I wouldn’t say I was man-hating, I definitely wasn’t planning on getting involved in any kind of relationship anytime soon.  My friend base has changed a bit.  My close friends are still there, but I’ve met a bunch of new people, and have drifted away from a lot as well.  I’m ok with that.  I think it’s for the best.

Looking back at my old blog (essentially from a year ago), it’s fairly obvious how much I have changed.  Even my writing style has changed a bit.  At least grammatically, to my eye. 

Oh wow, I just “reminded” myself about kakuro puzzles (aka cross sums).  I was addicted to them before.  They’re just awesome, and challenging.  Too bad I don’t have any to work on right now.   Or access to a printer.  That would be nice.  I found an on-line option.  So I’m off.  Ciao! :-)