Under-appreciated

The title pretty much says it all.  Today was such a bad day (and by today, I’m referring to work, not after work).  I couldn’t seem to do anything right in anyone else’s eyes.  Extremely frustrating.

I’m thinking it might be time to move on.  Even though it was only a week ago or so that I decided to stay.  But nightmares and stress just don’t really seem a good trade-off.  Because they bring a lot of bad stuff with them.  And I don’t need crap in my life.

However, my parents are still super supportive (in their own ways).  And my bro and I are close despite never seeing each other.  Jess is essentially back in my life.  Jill has always been there.  Jason just gets more amazing with every day – and I’m not sure I tell him that.

My Sleep Schedule should be thrown out at this point.  It’s not happening, and probably never will at this point.  I’m just not committed enough.  Or something like that.

Camping this weekend!  Montreal next weekend!  Golden the weekend after!

14 days down…3 days to go.  Way too many days to work without a day off.  I should stop torturing myself in the future.  NO needs to get a higher usage rate in my vocabulary.

Uninspired

My trip to San Diego was pretty cool.  I can’t wait to go back.  Next time I want to have my own agenda though.  I’m not such a big fan of letting someone else make all the plans.  True, I didn’t know what there was to do, but I wasn’t super happy about having plans made that didn’t coincide with what little I was hoping to do.

Disneyland turned out to be better than I thought it would be.  Which is impressive, considering I was grumpy and exhausted most of the day.  I’d like to go back one day.  Just to enjoy it.  And to really look around.  It was cool being with people who could take us around to all the top rides (we did about 3 days worth of only 1).  Once again though, I’m not such a big fan of other people’s plans.

Maybe I’m just too much of a control freak?

On the bright side of things, I didn’t get sick of Jason.  For anyone that’s gone on a trip with me, I tend to need alone time around day 2 or 3.  But this time when I wanted time away from our other trip companions, I didn’t want time away from Jason.  I actually think the trip made me feel even closer to him.  I’m not sure how he feels about me though.

I haven’t felt very motivated about anything since I got back though.  If I think about it though, it’s understandable.  I worked 11 hours the day after I got back, the next day I worked 8 and went out for Jill’s birthday, Friday I worked another 8 hours then went to Jason’s, and today I worked another 8 hours.  And none of those shifts went by quickly.  But my room is a mess, and I made a fairly long To Do list today.  The problem is, I’m not really sure when I’m going to get stuff done.  I have some weird shifts this week.  Although, I will theoretically be getting up earlier this week, so perhaps I can get more done during the day (after all, I’ve always been quite productive in the late mornings).

Chapters has some really nice reed diffusers, eye pillows, frames, photo albums, cards, agendas, journals, etc.  I was quite impressed last night…and extremely tempted.  I only got an agenda though, which is something I will actually use.  And I based my decision on function, not solely on price.

A part of me is saying I should’ve gone back to work there.  But then nothing would’ve turned out the same.  And since I can’t change anything, I really shouldn’t worry about it.  For now the thought can simply hold a spot in my head.  After all, who knows what the future will bring?

I have come to the realization that for the most part, I am only working where I am because of the pay, and for one, the lack of effort required, and the other, mainly because of a couple staff members and my resume.  I’m really looking forward to the day when I can find a job that is mentally stimulating, a bit of a challenge, and one that I enjoy. 

I miss…yoga…getting dressed up with my hair and make-up done…doing my make-up…wearing heels all the time…being super photogenic…the days of blogging on Nexopia…Nexopia in general…sleeping well…my clean bedroom…seeing my friends lots…some of my friends that aren’t really friends anymore…having a plan…never crying…looking forward to going to work…being active…texting constantly…Roxie…Jessica…Jason…climbing…spending weekends together…feeling inspired…a lot. 

The camera on my cell is broken.  And the battery runs out way quicker than it used to.  I need to take it in to be fixed, but I don’t have time.