Uninspired

My trip to San Diego was pretty cool.  I can’t wait to go back.  Next time I want to have my own agenda though.  I’m not such a big fan of letting someone else make all the plans.  True, I didn’t know what there was to do, but I wasn’t super happy about having plans made that didn’t coincide with what little I was hoping to do.

Disneyland turned out to be better than I thought it would be.  Which is impressive, considering I was grumpy and exhausted most of the day.  I’d like to go back one day.  Just to enjoy it.  And to really look around.  It was cool being with people who could take us around to all the top rides (we did about 3 days worth of only 1).  Once again though, I’m not such a big fan of other people’s plans.

Maybe I’m just too much of a control freak?

On the bright side of things, I didn’t get sick of Jason.  For anyone that’s gone on a trip with me, I tend to need alone time around day 2 or 3.  But this time when I wanted time away from our other trip companions, I didn’t want time away from Jason.  I actually think the trip made me feel even closer to him.  I’m not sure how he feels about me though.

I haven’t felt very motivated about anything since I got back though.  If I think about it though, it’s understandable.  I worked 11 hours the day after I got back, the next day I worked 8 and went out for Jill’s birthday, Friday I worked another 8 hours then went to Jason’s, and today I worked another 8 hours.  And none of those shifts went by quickly.  But my room is a mess, and I made a fairly long To Do list today.  The problem is, I’m not really sure when I’m going to get stuff done.  I have some weird shifts this week.  Although, I will theoretically be getting up earlier this week, so perhaps I can get more done during the day (after all, I’ve always been quite productive in the late mornings).

Chapters has some really nice reed diffusers, eye pillows, frames, photo albums, cards, agendas, journals, etc.  I was quite impressed last night…and extremely tempted.  I only got an agenda though, which is something I will actually use.  And I based my decision on function, not solely on price.

A part of me is saying I should’ve gone back to work there.  But then nothing would’ve turned out the same.  And since I can’t change anything, I really shouldn’t worry about it.  For now the thought can simply hold a spot in my head.  After all, who knows what the future will bring?

I have come to the realization that for the most part, I am only working where I am because of the pay, and for one, the lack of effort required, and the other, mainly because of a couple staff members and my resume.  I’m really looking forward to the day when I can find a job that is mentally stimulating, a bit of a challenge, and one that I enjoy. 

I miss…yoga…getting dressed up with my hair and make-up done…doing my make-up…wearing heels all the time…being super photogenic…the days of blogging on Nexopia…Nexopia in general…sleeping well…my clean bedroom…seeing my friends lots…some of my friends that aren’t really friends anymore…having a plan…never crying…looking forward to going to work…being active…texting constantly…Roxie…Jessica…Jason…climbing…spending weekends together…feeling inspired…a lot. 

The camera on my cell is broken.  And the battery runs out way quicker than it used to.  I need to take it in to be fixed, but I don’t have time.

Off to a Good Start

It’s day 6 of the new year, and I feel like I’m doing pretty well in regards to my resolutions.  Actually, I’m feeling pretty good about the amount of things I’ve managed to accomplish so far.  Getting off to a good start is always a nice bonus, and helps keep me motivated.

I’ve yet to write my “official” budget post, but I think it’s going to be Get Organized January.  So far I’ve organized my receipts, and got the supplies to start a new filing system (which technically doesn’t involve filing, per se).    I’m also coming up with ideas of what I need to save for, and how I want my budget to work.  Perhaps I should be looking for a slightly irregular approach, as that seems to be when I succeed best at other things.

As for my speeding,  I’m doing really well at not doing it.  :-)  Not much else to be said.

That leads to the fact that I got my brother to wash Putt-Putt for me today.   I was going to go to a drive-through car wash, but the line was too long, and then it was closed.  So we went to a do-it-yourself one.  And I asked, and he did.  No complaints from me, especially since he can do it faster than I can with the same results.  Not quite sure why, but I’ll take it.

I’ve yet to decide whether Putt-Putt is a guy or girl though.  To me, cars are girls.  But the name doesn’t make me think so.  Maybe Putt-Putt is an “it”?  My next car is going to be a girl though.

As for the self-improvement portion,  I printed off my January goals check-list (and updated it).  I’m not scoring 100% or anything, but I’m doing way better now than I was back in October when I started the check-list.  And I know what I need to work on, which is half the battle.

I also started my move out list today.  Nothing too detailed, but the plan was basically to start the file.   So I’ve got different categories, like: kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, miscellaneous, etc.  The plan is to basically go through my (parent’s) house from top to bottom and write down everything I think I will need for myself.  And then check off what I have already.  I’ve got a lot of the big things, but I know there’s going to be tons of little random things (like a can opener, tape measure, screwdriver, measuring spoons, silverware organizer…).

So I can honestly say that I’m not as big of a candy fan as I used to be.  I bought $12 worth the other day, and it’s been 3 nights, and I’ve still got stuff left.  That would’ve been gone within 2 hours back in the day.  Definitely a good thing.  I’m eating more healthy foods now too.  Still no where near what I should be, but a little improvement is better than nothing.  And I do need to acquire a taste for a lot of things.

Without really realizing it, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about snowboarding, and just how important it really is to me.   And honestly, it’s nowhere near important as it was last year.  I’m not even sure how many competitions I’m going to do.  It’s just not a priority anymore.  I still love it (don’t get me wrong on that).  But there are other things I want to do in my spare time now.  I don’t think I’m really saddened by this development, although I am a little bit surprised.  This means I probably won’t be planning on buying any new gear this season, and that ultimately affects how I budget.

I’ve been attempting to clean up my bedroom a little bit every day now.   In some way, shape or form.  Like today I went through a bunch of my clothing, and got rid of tons!  And I’m moving things off my desk to their proper place.  Still lots to do, but I feel way better about it already.  I’ve collected a lot of junk over the years, but I’m getting more critical about what I keep.  I’d like to think that this attitude will stick with me when I go shopping for new things now.  But only time will tell with that…

Katherine and I went to yoga for the first time in 2008 on Saturday morning.  The 8am class too.  It was really fun – the instructor left a lot of time for playing around with handstand and shoulderstand.  I’m looking forward to going to more of his classes because he’s really helpful and encouraging.  I think that a combination of fun, playful classes and structured classes will be really great.  But I need to make sure I set some money aside for my studio passes.

I bought this gorgeous blue scarf the other day.  And it’s so soft.  But it sheds like fricking crazy!!!  Whenever I wear it, I end up covered in fuzz.  And I mean covered.  Today I tried to put it in the dryer with some tennis balls.  The tennis balls (and lint thingy) came out covered, as I expected, but the scarf is still shedding.  I’ve got no clue how to make it stop.  So if anyone has ANY ideas, please pass them my way.  Because I really love this scarf.

Jumping Without Looking…Again

It’s kind of funny how it works, just when you think you’ve been completely abandoned and yet you need a hand to hold more than ever, hands suddenly appear everywhere.  Well, maybe my situation isn’t (wasn’t?) quite that desperate, and the response wasn’t quite that miraculous, but that’s the gist of it.  I’m definitely thankful though.  Makes me feel a little bit better about what I’m thinking of doing.

 I decided to tell a friend about my “plan” that I muttered about in my last post.  And there was nothing but support.  So, I figure I may as well throw it out there.  Here goes:  I’m thinking, well, seriously thinking….maybe even almost 99% sure I’m going to, switch to SAIT next year and take Architectural Technologies.  Because I honestly hate university.  The school part of it at least.  I am not motivated or interested in my courses.  All I think about is how it has absolutely nothing to do with what I want to be doing.

 I think that’s my biggest problem with university.  Granted it’s only the first semester, but I can make my mind up quickly sometimes.  The focus is on learning, but not learning things that will be useful when you actually get a job.  With my current degree I’d have to slog through 2 years of complete bullshit courses before I could even start to do anything related to architecture.  And that kind of pisses me off.  Especially since that’s the “fast-track” way.

Besides, when talking with my parents, they brought up some very true points.  Granted, I’m still reluctant to admit to them.  Such as the fact that I put snowboarding before school this year.  Definitely refused to admit to that before (which is probably what pissed my mom off so much).  But it’s true, if I was really serious about architecture I would’ve gone out east to go to school.  That’s where the good programs are.  Not only did I decide to stay here, but I made up my entire class schedule (including choosing options) based on wanting to snowboard training at least 1 afternoon a week.  Perhaps I subconsciously knew that university wouldn’t be for me?  Who knows, it’s possible.

One of the things I brought up in our conversation was how I didn’t know what I was good at that I enjoyed anymore.  Actually, I’m pretty sure I said there wasn’t anything that I was good at.  And my dad brought up drafting right away.  It’s kind of weird how you forget about the little things sometimes.  Like how much I absolutely loved drafting back in high school.   I can actually remember the first time I did it in junior high, and I loved it even then.  So yeah, I guess there still are things that I’m good at that I enjoy.  They just don’t happen to be right in front of my nose.

And that’s kind of where the whole SAIT bit comes in.  Actually, I’d been thinking about transferring before, but not too seriously.  There was also a bit of pressure from certain people (who I won’t name because they’re really special to me, and they’re just voicing their opinions) to get a university degree and not waste myself on anything else.  Which I’m realizing isn’t right.  Because there’s no point in me getting a degree if I’m not going to be happy with where I end up.

So I’m going to go talk to some counsellors, at U of C and at SAIT, and just make sure I’m making the right decision.  And then (hopefully) I’ll apply.  And go from there.