#44

I am a see-saw.  One week I love working at Pier 1, the next I hate it.

I cleaned my bathroom tonight.  Finally.

I love Jason.  In case you didn’t know.

I miss working out.  I plan on starting again once school starts and the gym is convenient.  Sad, but true.

I am definitely in need of some Zen.  I am in the middle of a 17-days of work streak.

My abs are lacking.  I am not fat, do not read this wrong.  I am happy with my body, blah, blah blah – I simply wish I had stunningly ripped abs.

I wish more people would comment.  And not just people looking for me to buy something from them.  People who actually “care” about me in some way, shape, or form.

I love Sunbird.  I wish I had more of a use for it.

I work too early tomorrow morning.  8am is not a good time for me to be at work.  It also means I should be in bed already.  My plans for the evening have gone completely awry.

Uninspired

My trip to San Diego was pretty cool.  I can’t wait to go back.  Next time I want to have my own agenda though.  I’m not such a big fan of letting someone else make all the plans.  True, I didn’t know what there was to do, but I wasn’t super happy about having plans made that didn’t coincide with what little I was hoping to do.

Disneyland turned out to be better than I thought it would be.  Which is impressive, considering I was grumpy and exhausted most of the day.  I’d like to go back one day.  Just to enjoy it.  And to really look around.  It was cool being with people who could take us around to all the top rides (we did about 3 days worth of only 1).  Once again though, I’m not such a big fan of other people’s plans.

Maybe I’m just too much of a control freak?

On the bright side of things, I didn’t get sick of Jason.  For anyone that’s gone on a trip with me, I tend to need alone time around day 2 or 3.  But this time when I wanted time away from our other trip companions, I didn’t want time away from Jason.  I actually think the trip made me feel even closer to him.  I’m not sure how he feels about me though.

I haven’t felt very motivated about anything since I got back though.  If I think about it though, it’s understandable.  I worked 11 hours the day after I got back, the next day I worked 8 and went out for Jill’s birthday, Friday I worked another 8 hours then went to Jason’s, and today I worked another 8 hours.  And none of those shifts went by quickly.  But my room is a mess, and I made a fairly long To Do list today.  The problem is, I’m not really sure when I’m going to get stuff done.  I have some weird shifts this week.  Although, I will theoretically be getting up earlier this week, so perhaps I can get more done during the day (after all, I’ve always been quite productive in the late mornings).

Chapters has some really nice reed diffusers, eye pillows, frames, photo albums, cards, agendas, journals, etc.  I was quite impressed last night…and extremely tempted.  I only got an agenda though, which is something I will actually use.  And I based my decision on function, not solely on price.

A part of me is saying I should’ve gone back to work there.  But then nothing would’ve turned out the same.  And since I can’t change anything, I really shouldn’t worry about it.  For now the thought can simply hold a spot in my head.  After all, who knows what the future will bring?

I have come to the realization that for the most part, I am only working where I am because of the pay, and for one, the lack of effort required, and the other, mainly because of a couple staff members and my resume.  I’m really looking forward to the day when I can find a job that is mentally stimulating, a bit of a challenge, and one that I enjoy. 

I miss…yoga…getting dressed up with my hair and make-up done…doing my make-up…wearing heels all the time…being super photogenic…the days of blogging on Nexopia…Nexopia in general…sleeping well…my clean bedroom…seeing my friends lots…some of my friends that aren’t really friends anymore…having a plan…never crying…looking forward to going to work…being active…texting constantly…Roxie…Jessica…Jason…climbing…spending weekends together…feeling inspired…a lot. 

The camera on my cell is broken.  And the battery runs out way quicker than it used to.  I need to take it in to be fixed, but I don’t have time.

The Ball is Finally Rolling

I’ve definitely made some changes since my last post.  A lot can happen in a week when you put your mind to it.  Well, it actually isn’t a whole lot, but the effect these changes have made is pretty big.

Without going into a whole lot of detail, partly because I want this to be a quick post, and partly because I don’t really feel like thinking a whole lot about it, here’s what I did:

• told Karine (my snowboard coach) that I’m just sick of riding, and that I don’t want to come Wednesday nights for the rest of the season;
• because of this I also told Maddy I could only drive her to/from Riders on Monday nights;
• called my aunt and said that I’m just not as focused on her work anymore, and I’m not getting tons done, and that I really don’t want to keep doing more;
• started looking for a new job;
• applied at the library (again), and actually set up an interview;
• called the temp agency to say I wanted to leave my job, and they ended up telling my supervisor for me (although she still wanted to talk about my reasons for leaving, which is totally understandable);
• created and printed off a checklist for March;
• actually made plans to go out one night with some friends; and
• Jason and I even went for a run.

All of that in a week.  Wow, I was busy.  But I feel a lot better about the direction I’m headed now (which isn’t exactly anywhere specific, but at least it’s more of an open field than a dead-end).

Hopefully this week I can fit in at least a couple yoga classes.  I’m thinking of going to a Prana class at Bodhi Tree on Thursday, and then a class at Calgary Hot Yoga with Jason on Friday.  Ideally I’d like to do a class at Bodhi Tree on Saturday or Sunday, but we’ll see what happens.  Maybe I’ll be able to motivate myself to go for a run again at some point.

Difficulty is 100% subjective.

Optimistic October

It’s kind of amazing how time always gets away from you.  It was summer last time I blogged, and now, snowboard season starts in a month!

 Obviously the biggest change so far has been starting university.  My take on it: when people said it was hard, they were making a huge understatement.  There is so much to do.  And there just doesn’t seem to be enough time to do it in.  Although a large part of that probably arises from my ability to procrastinate.  I stayed up till 3am one night reading 3 novels – just because I didn’t want to do my philosophy assignment.  Especially since I still had 3 days before it was due.  Retarded decision on my part.  But I’m getting used to making them.  lol.

 Some of the people are awesome though.  Namely Katherine.  haha – that’s right girl, you’re that amazingly awesome.  lol.  I was kind of hoping to find a really close friend when I went to university, but I definitely wasn’t expecting to meet one the very first day of orientation.  If only we could find some more spare time to spend together…

 It’s a learning process, that’s for sure.  I had all these plans, and they’ve pretty much all fallen to ruins within the first three weeks.  I’m not quite sure if my learning methods have changed, or that they just don’t work with the new teaching methods.  Either way, this past week I’ve been trying to make changes.  It’s weird because I fell further behind, and yet I feel way better about everything.  And in some classes seem to be turning around already.

Working at the Business Library has been…interesting.  Not going to lie, I’m taking advantage of the free printing.  Especially since it’s a colour printer.  Free vs minimum 8 cents per page.  lol.  And I’ve got no problem that I’m allowed to do homework when I’m not busy with patrons.  The hardest part has been trying to find stuff I don’t need my laptop for.  The job itself is not exactly challenging though.  I think I’d get bored extremely fast without the homework.  And it’s nowhere near as social as any of my previous jobs.  But oh well, it’s money.

 So I now have two siamese fighting fish – Jengo and Speck.  Jengo was Jessica’s, but I ended up taking him home with me after my visit.  And then, I got Speck through a Facebook ad.  Funny, but true.  They’re both quite entertaining.  Although I do feel guilty since my room can get quite cold at times.   But they’re surviving.  And I got them new bowls, and new plants.  It’s really easy to clean the bowls, so hopefully I’ll be able to do it regularly.  Unlike the aquarium…  Oops.

 Anyways, I’ve decided I should try and start the monthly themes again.  They really helped me focus before.  Hopefully they can do so again.  So Optimistic October.  Basically, the plan is to stay upbeat and positive about school.  That is, after all, the biggest obstacle standing between me and complete zenness.  :-p

 I’m trying to write down some goals – LuluLemon style.  I’ve only got the 1-year stuff filled in so far, but I’ll get the longer term ones in soon.  I hope.   http://www.lululemon.com/culture/goalsetting